This is one heck of an excitin' story! Now hurry up and grab a few friends and take turns readin' aloud, kay?! ^_^ That'd make me happy. Ahem. So this story takes place in a building that neither Emmie nor Ellie like that much. It's known to some as an actual school, but to many people it's known as Plywood High. ...Quite believable. Anyway, it's taking up my precious God time. So yes, it takes place there. ...In English class. You know, English class was always really boring. I think we might have been going over commas in items in a series? ...It's not important.

Emmie and Ellie (why am I talking in third person?) were passing notes. Sort of. It was Emmie's Thought Book! We did that a lot. It was fun. And we'd write notes and stuff. Anyway, we were passing her Thought Book back and forth and writing stupid stoofs in it. Isn't that really exciting? Yeah. Well, at one point in our insane boredom where we were doing it... Emmie sees... Something very shiny out of the corner of her eye. And she looks... And stares.

By golly, what is it?!

THE SHINY WHISTLE OF... GOD!

...But she had not been enlightened on this yet. She had to ask le moi, the Ellie, since I am all-knowing and perfect. It went a little something like...

...Actually, it went exactly like that. That was scanned from when it happened. Exciting stuff. Anyway, from that moment on, Kurt was God! We saw him at the pep rally, and he played the saxaphone! THE SAXAAAAPHOOONE! ...Well, since he does this, we called him Saxy. Because our God is Saxy. With chocolately brown eyes. You'd love him. He also has these crazy cool Hawaiin shirts and this awesome hair that we enjoy petting. And like, he has a jacket and I liked to tie the strings together and put stuff in the hood. ^_^ Presents for God. *ahack* ANYWAY.

Did God always know he was God? ...Well, duh, he's God. But did he know that his presence among us all had been found out? Not for some time! ^_^ It wasn't until... Some unknown date... That he walked in on Emmie and Ellie amidst all their giggling about him, and Ellie slipped out "Kurtism" near him. ...And our lovely friend Stevie told him that he was our God. We made him happy. Yey!

Well, since then it's all been a blast. We took up tattooing our wrists with I <3 God in a pretty pink and purple color. We followed him around every morning shouting our love for him... Ohoho, lucky guy, having so many good looking fangirls. ^_^ God likes to get high off of caffeine. He doesn't get enough sleep. And he also is the father of my daughter, Jebusette. ...Which makes me Jebus's step mother. But that's a whole different story! <.< >.>...

So there you have it. How Kurtism came to be. ^_^

Emmie here! o_o Live from her desk with breaking Kurtist news! I have scored an exclusive interview with the one, the only, the almighty GOD. That's right. You heard it here, folks. GOD. God agreed to answer a few questions for me this evening, so I am bringing them to you.

God's Profile (as filled out by Kurt himself):

Name: Kurt
Nickname: God, Truk
DOB: A little after that time
POB: The land in the back of my head
Zodiac :Aries
Height:Taller than I was when I was born, but not quite as tall as my house...
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Aspires to: Play with robots
Hobby: Electronics
Religion: Christian
Thing he wants to try: Flying an airplane
Place he wants to visit: Nowhere in perticular
Strength: Imagination
Weakness: Boredom

Kurt's favorite....

Color: green
Animal: frog
Season: spring
Book: ???
Movie: ???
Food: Chicken fingers
Subject: Science
Weather: Sunny w/ slight mist
Cheese: The one that is most easily substituted with chicken
Flower: I dunno
Game: NFS Porsche Unleashed
Toe: none
Article of clothing: Light Jacket

Kurt's least favorite....

Color: Blue
Animal: Dog
Season: Fall
Book: Dune
Movie: I've never seen it and I don't want to
Food: cheese
Subject: History
Weather: Downpour
Cheese: The one closest to me
Flower: None
Game: I don't know, but I don't like it
Toe: none
Article of clothing: caps